I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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