And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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