This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
