apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
