well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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