Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize