So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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