Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
