we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
