I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
