Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
