Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
