Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
