What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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