I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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