It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize