I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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