Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
