We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it's like iHOP with fire
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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