people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
