whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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