i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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