You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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