we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Terrible idea I love it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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