Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
please don't ironically join a cult
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