you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
