he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
