At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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