How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
