You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize