epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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