i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
