he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And then my night got REAL pukey
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize