You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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