I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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