One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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