im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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