the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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