She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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