Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
