# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
