to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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