No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
