tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
