My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
