just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
