Just took my morning after pill in the library
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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