This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
