Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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