I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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