If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
