were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
