This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
