Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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