Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
