Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
