im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
