Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
