Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So squirting runs in the family.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
